eff xmasssss

Wanna know why I hate christmas? Its because I never experienced the perfect one. Parents never ask what I want for xmas, therefore I've trained myself to not get my hopes up, and not wish for anything that I want. AND its not like my family's poor. They just wanna make me suffer because they grew up poor and didn't have a good birthday or xmas. WHY let your children suffer when you know that you can give them a better life than what you had?

Sigh, people ask me what I want, and I say nothing. They look at me like HUH? WHAT?..and I'm like...yeaaaa nothing. I know it seems like I'm bitching, cuz there's always that group of people saying "Oh, you should be lucky that you at least get to have an xmas...", BUT is it wrong for me to dream of the perfect xmas with family giving you whatever you want? Am I wrong?

I think not.

This xmas was actually life chagning, I actually bought a gift for someone, now, I don't know what came over me, but it felt great doing it. If my parents would give me money more often, I would buy the most important people a gift, but they don't, and I can't. I guess I'm gonna get a gift in return, and I hope I do, and I think its gonna feel damn good when I get something that I yearn.

Merry fucking Christmas.